Grand enough

Hanging in

2011-11-13T02:42:00.000-08:00

Thanks to all who cheered for me last night at the indoor stadium. I got home feeling quite high from excitement of winning the best producer award and the lack of food. Thankfully, I got home to some watered down chicken alphabet soup. The awards are still in a carrier bag though. My house is overflowing with things.

You see, I've always liked the idea of living just sufficiently, an adequate sized house for my imagined "basic" needs. But this means that I've been swimming in stuff. BOXES OF STUFF. Letters from fans, heavy awards, old CDs, tons of clothes I no longer wear, endless high heels that gets additional discussions in forums when I 'recycle' them more than 5 times. I'm working on taking things I no longer need out of my life.

It's a toughie.

The Mister says I love living like how I did in the past. He's a little bit right. I love my hawker food and like taking the train when possible. Its comforting to know that there are some things that are still there. My old flat where I lived for for 22 years have recently been torn down for a spanking new development. The new condo looks potentially amazing, but the grassy slopes where my sisters and I played are now leveled for some swimming pool or something. It is weird for sure, but I get it. There is always space for improvements and I intend to embrace that.

Today I tried to hang the remaining of my pictures on the wall. Has anyone tried to do that? Being pretty good in Math, I armed myself with a measuring tape and many of those 3M hooks thinking it would be a walk in the park. I broke the glass frame, bruised my thumb and swore like a hooker. Quite a different person from yesterday's glam bam mam' I know.

I might not be a better version as of yet (version 12?) but I'm working on it.

Translation courtesy of Joyapple
感谢Joyapple老师的翻译：

坚持 (挂着）

谢谢所有昨天来室内体育场为我加油的人。我很高兴拿着最佳专辑制作人奖项，饿着肚子兴高采烈地回到了家。不过还好，家里还剩下一碗稀释的鸡面汤等着我。那些奖杯仍然在手提袋里放着，因为屋子已经塞到爆了。

我一直觉得，生活只要能安居乐业，衣食无忧就可以了，房子的大小能满足我想象到的“基本”需要就已足够。但这意味着家里到处都是东西，已经几乎没有我的落脚之地。到处是一箱又一箱的东西。里面有歌迷的信件，各种奖杯，旧CD，还有不再穿的衣物堆积如山，无数不再用的高跟鞋，（因为若有一双“循环利用”超过五次的鞋，听说就会成为论坛里的一个话题）。我正努力把不再需要的东西从生活中清除出去。

这真是个难题。

先生说，我喜欢一如既往地按以前的方式生活。他说得有一点点道理。我喜欢大排档，喜欢在可能的情况下坐地铁。因为当你发现一些事情没有改变的时候，你总会感到欣慰。我住了22年的那个公寓最近被拆掉了，那一带进行了全新的发展规划。新公寓看起来可能非常棒，但从前我和姐姐妹妹经常去玩滑草的那个草坡被夷为平地，可能要在那修建游泳池之类的设施。这当然让我觉得有些不舍，但我可以理解这些改变。我愿意相信，每一样东西总是有空间改进，更新。

今天我想把剩余的照片挂到墙上去。有没有人挂过照片？我自信的以为自己数学很好，拿着卷尺和3M无痕挂钩，心想这是小菜一碟。结果我打碎了玻璃框，捶伤了拇指，便像个大流氓一样破口大骂。应该与昨天那个看起来魅力四射的女明星判若两人。

就目前情况来看，也许还没有一个更好的版本（版本12？）但我在为此努力。

Beautiful Politics

2011-10-28T23:21:00.000-07:00

A beautiful point in Singapore politics, made by one wise man (George Yeo) and pointed out by another (Chen Show Mao):

"To be a human being is to be different. The whole logic and driving force of biological life is diversification. An imposed unity is a false unity; it’s a contradiction in terms."

Mr Chen Show Mao also said in the same speech "..differences are not divisions. It is the intolerance of differences that will be divisive. "

Let's find a common ground.

"Let's go find a rainbow.
I could be wrong but what am I to do.
Guess god thinks I'm Abel"

----- Oasis

Translation courtesy of Joyapple，Yifei and Annoymous (Good job！！)
谢谢 Joyapple， Yifei 和 Annonymous 的翻译！

美丽的政治

新加坡政治的一个亮点。杨荣文 (George Yeo) 先生提出过一个美好的主张，而陈硕茂先生 (Chen Show Mao) 在一次演讲中陈述了杨先生的这个观点：

杨荣文（George Yeo）说：“人人生而不同。生物生命的整个逻辑体系和推动力在于多样化。强加的统一是虚假的统一；是一种自相矛盾的说法。”

陈硕茂（Chen Show Mao）在同一次讲话中表示“差异并不是分歧，不可调和的差异才将最终导致分裂。”

让我们找到一个共同点。

“让我们去寻找一个彩虹。
也许我错了
但又能怎样
我想上帝认为我是Abel。”

－－－－－－（一首歌）Oasis – Guess God Thinks I'm Abel
收录在 Don't Believe the Truth 中

注：
1、杨荣文 (George Yong-Boon Yeo，1954年生)，祖籍潮州。1954年9月13日在新加坡出生，1976年毕业加入新加坡武装部队。1983年获美国哈佛大学肯尼迪行政管理学院公共行政学硕士学位。回国后任新加坡武装部队参谋长兼联合行动与策划司长。1988年升准将，同年辞去军职。1988年9月当选为国会议员，后在1991年，1997年，2001年及2006年的大选中继续当选。 1988年9月13日到1990年11月27日，任新加坡财政部政务部长兼外交部政务部长。1990年11月28日，在吴作栋总理内阁，他被任命代新闻及艺术部长兼外交部高级政务部长。1991年7月1日，他被升任新闻及艺术部长兼外交部第二部长。2004 年8月12 日，在李显龙总理内阁被任命外交部长。杨荣文是第一位公开撰写博客的新加坡内阁成员。

2、陈硕茂（Chen Show Mao，1961年生），新加坡律师、政治人物。生于台湾，1972年11岁时随家人移居新加坡，在1986年，25岁时成为新加坡公民。2011年5月7日，代表反对党新加坡工人党与该党主席国会议员林瑞莲和秘书长国会议员刘程强等五人候选团队于阿裕尼集选区参加国会大选，以54.71%得票率，击败得票率45.29%的执政党人民行动党候选人，从此掀开新加坡政党政治竞争史的新页。他与另两位同选区同仁毕丹星和莫哈默费沙同时成为第一批首次参选即当选的反对党国会议员。
　
3、“a contradiction in terms”：用词上自相矛盾的说法。例如：A generous miser 慷慨的吝啬鬼。

4、Abel：圣经中的人物：亚伯。他是亚当Adam的次子，为拯救世界被其兄该隐Cain杀死。Abel 跟 able (能够）同音。在歌曲里也可以解释为：能够胜任任何难关。

Big feet

2011-07-06T19:26:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I tweeted if my feet could get any bigger.

For the longest time. I thought I was a 36.5. That's ten years ago. And by the normal laws of puberty and growth, your feet should be the same size whenther you are 22 or 32. Well, the last time I bought a pair of shoes, the lady said I was a 39.

I just looked at her.

The growth is phenomenal. I believe that by the time I get forty I could wear my dad's loafers.

But that aside, I got bitten by a swarm of sand flies two nights ago. My feet are so swollen, i knew I had cursed myself by my tweet.

Translation by: angel （thank you both angel and joyapple!)
翻译师： angel

大腳丫

幾天前我在微博上更新說我的腳可以再大一點!

長久以來，我一直以為我鞋子尺寸為36.5。那是十年前了。根據一般的青春期及成長規則，腳的大小在22歲和32歲應該是一樣的。然而，我上一次買鞋的時候售貨小姐跟我說我穿39號!

我眼睜睜的看著她。

這成長的速度很驚人。我相信當我四十歲的時候我已經可以穿我爸的平底鞋了！

撇開這個不談，我在兩天前的晚上被一群沙地蒼蠅咬到。我的腳腫起來了，我想我是被自己前幾天更新的微博給詛咒了！

-----

Square Pegs

2011-07-05T04:25:00.000-07:00

I know I know,
it's been two thousand years.

Let me start by saying, I'm a square peg.

Almost everywhere around me I see round holes. This usually means that I need to shave off my corners a bit. That my friends, is the part I mind. No, hate.

As technology bombards me everyday with little snippets about every single damn thing in the world, my mind is ALWAYS, CONSTANTLY engaged. I even find myself checking my phone for updates at traffic lights. (Do not attempt to do this lowly, terribly, irresponsible act my readers.)

Someone is having a whale of a time, someone's kid is super smart, someone is clever and opinionated and gives a cute one liner, someone is bummed, someone is missing their dog, someone thinks of a hamburger. I take all these information in and realised that at the same time, my mind is merely engaged for as long as it takes to read the updates. All these smart and interesting and fun people are living their lives to the ultimate fullest and I'm at home watching Korean DVD??? (DISCLAIMER: I have a bit of cough you see, an itchy throat.)

It makes me envious. And a little bit jealous.

I feel out of sync with the amazing life.

My dullest moments are not worth mentioning and my most dramatic/dangerous/mind blowing moments are probably over. (Maybe except my future delivery of a baby which explicit details I shall not go into).

I very often wonder what is next in my life.

What do you get to top?

Would I be happy dishing out a hearty potato soup?

Or does it have to be sensationally jamie oliverish or so-horrid-you-had-to-blog-about-it to make it worthwhile?

Can I continue to be just a square peg in this round holed world?

DISCLAIMER II: Being a square peg doesn't mean that you are boring. It just means that sometimes you don't fit in. Anywhere. And I'm not boring I just have days where I like to hole up and disappear. But you already know that. @#$% if you think this makes me sound like a loser, you are smart and opinionated.

Translation courtesy of joy apple:
翻译老师: JOYAPPLE

谢谢前面totoro的提醒，修改了一下：

方枘圆凿
【注：成语“方枘（rui）圆凿”的意思是方形的木钉无法钉入圆形的洞里，比喻与周遭环境不合拍。标题Square Pegs的意思即为方形的木钉。】

我知道我知道，我已经两千年没更新了。

让我以这句话开头吧，我是一根方木钉。

在我周围几乎到处可见圆形的孔。

这通常意味着，我该削掉一点点我的棱角。但朋友们，这正是我介意的部分。不，是憎恶的部分。

科技的飞速发展让我觉得自己每天被来自世界的各类琐事轰击着，我的头脑一直在永不停歇地运转。我甚至发现自己在等绿灯的时候会拿出手机查看更新。（我的读者们请千万不要尝试这种低级、可怕且不负责任的行为）。

有的人过得很开心，有的人孩子非常聪明，有的人头脑聪明有主见并写出一句精辟的话，有人在郁闷着，有的人在想念他们的狗，有的人想起一个汉堡。我把这些信息全部接收进来，同时意识到，我的头脑只是在看这些更新的时候才运转。所有这些精明有趣的人都在无比充实地经营着生活，而我却只是窝在家里看韩剧？？？（声明：我咳嗽了，喉咙发痒。）

这让我羡慕他们。甚至有一点点嫉妒。

我觉得我与精彩的生活脱节了。

我最灰暗的那段日子已变得微不足道，而最激烈/危险/不可思议的时刻应该也已经远去。（也许不包括将来生小孩的那一刻，具体的细节我现在还不想去探究。）

我时常会想，下一步该做什么、会怎样。

你还想超越什么？

煮出美味的土豆汤我会很高兴吗？

或者，因为我好不容易煮了一次汤，是不是要跟杰米．奥利佛不分胜负【注：Jamie Oliver是英国电视明星大厨，以BBC烹饪节目闻名全球】因此来渲染一下，或是必须恐怖难喝才值得发一篇博客来发牢骚?

在这个充满“圆凿”的世界，我能否可以继续做一根“方枘”？

声明之二:作为一根方木钉并不意味着你是无聊的人。它只是意味着有些时候你无法委曲求全。我不是无聊，我只是会消失一段时间躲起来。不过你们也已经知道这些了。@#$% 但如果你觉得这篇让我听起来像个无聊的笨蛋，那也算你头脑聪明有主见。

-----------------

这位someone同学回了这句话:

我觉得我们越来越像了，我指的是想法或思维，但你正经历的，我已经经历过了，你微博看多了，接受的太多了，所以受不了了。你盛不下整个世界，其实你也不必，停止想，停止想象。心在物，则物在；心不在物，则物不在。你就是你这个版本的，我就是我这个版本的，比较是没有意义的，因为万事万物无时无刻不在变化，比较本身是不成立的，想象是假象。也许痛苦是找到出路的必经之路，希望你能早一天想明白~ 爱你(╯3╰)

:)谢谢你呀someone｡感激我身边的声音｡ 7/7/2011

2011-06-12T10:44:00.000-07:00

For those waiting for the latest blogpost. Sorry it's not happening tonight! But I have a new hit list:

New folks to shoot:

I wanna kill those people who decided that an app with a manual save button is useful to the world. IT IS NOT.

Be Here - Ray LaMontagne

2011-04-06T00:27:00.000-07:00

Don't let your mind get weary and confused..
your will be still; don't try.
Don't let your heart get heavy, child;
inside you there's a strength that lies.

Don't let your soul get lonely, child..
it's only time; it will go by.
Don't look for love in faces, places —
it's in you; that's where you'll find kindness.

Be here.. be here now.. be here now..
be.. be here now.. be here now...

Don't lose your faith in me,
and I will try not to lose faith in you.
Don't put your trust in walls,
'cause walls will only crush you when they fall.

Be...be here now... be here now.
Be...be here now...be here now.

-----Ray LaMontagne

翻译：Joyapple 老师：

就在此刻--Ray Lamontagne

不要让心灵疲惫困惑
一切都会平息，不必在意
不要心情沉重，孩子
你内心的力量会给你带来勇气

不要让灵魂寂寞孤独，孩子
相信时间，一切都会过去
不要期待所到之处充满友爱的面孔
爱源于自我，善良是你人性的自然流露

就停留在此刻，此时此刻
就停留在此刻，此时此刻

不要对我失去信心
我也会努力相信你们
不要相信冰冷的墙壁
因为墙倒塌后会摔得粉碎

就停留在此刻，此时此刻
就停留在此刻，此时此刻

11

2011-02-08T11:59:00.000-08:00

As I await the release of Number 11 with abated breath, I start to wonder how much of the past will come and smack me in the face.
The promotion schedule's been lined up, some really exciting plans are in the works, Wonderful Music have warned me of tough days ahead.
Tough. Days.
Ha.

Will it perhaps require me standing in minus four degrees in a singlet with pelting ice? Or living in a glass box with cameras switched on 24/7 ala Truman show? Explain to the world the monstrosity of a much publicised event? Or would it require the most painful fear of facing your acne in the mirror?

I recollect my past with some amusement. And a little twitch. But most of all I feel so freaking grateful.

What a difference they have made. These testy events, these hard to swallow pills. In the words of Alanis Morisette (yea not a good choice, the album marked the end of her career),

"Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence."

Aha, but I have another list to add:

Thank YOU.
And him.
And her.
And good cleanser.
And courage,.... there's also airconditioning, story books, love, N, katy perry, posturpedic beds, Jonah's questions, fertiliser, Barney Stinson, Kenn C, kind words, Miso, daily affirmation with Jessica, , parents, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Christian the Lion, Fiona Apple, fire trucks, Aomori Gymnasts blah blah blah blah ...

See it doesn't just end at silence. There are so many many many other things.

:)

Translation courtesy of joyapple:

11

我呼吸缓慢地等待着我的第11张专辑发行，开始忍不住向往过去的经历是否会再度出现，再度考验。

新专辑的宣传行程已经确定，一些着实让人兴奋地计划也正在筹备中。美妙音乐已经提醒过我，即将到来的宣传期可能会是磨人的日子。
磨人。日子。
哈。

是否要顶着风暴，穿件背心，站在零下四度的冰川上？还是在玻璃屋里，对着镜头，上演一场24小时不间断的楚门秀？或者向外界解释，一场被夸大宣传手法的用意？还是要承受最恐惧的，面对镜子里脸上的痘痘？

我带着几分娱乐的心态回想我的过去。也带了一点点抽搐。最多的是，很多分感激。

因为这些事而改变的观感。这些充满考验的经历，这些难以下咽的良药。就如歌手阿兰尼斯.莫丽赛特（Alanis Morisette）（当然这个人选不是太好，那张专辑意味着她歌唱生涯的结束）的歌词所说：

“感谢脆弱,
感谢因果,
感谢感谢沉默”

啊哈，但我还有更多要感谢的：

谢谢你们。
还有他。
还有她。
还有好的卸妆油。
还有勇气，.....当然还有空调，故事书，爱情，N，凯蒂•佩里，Posturpedic牌的床，侄子约拿的问题，肥料，Barney Stinson，Kenn C, 安慰的话语，那碗味增汤，那位味增TAN，视频daily affirmation with Jessica（那个可爱的小女孩），我的父母，Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros，狮子Christian【被拍成电影《乖狮克里斯蒂安》（Christian the Lion）】，歌手Fiona Apple，救火车，日本青森体操运动员等等等等….

看吧，并没有在感谢沉默中结束。还有这么这么这么多的别的事情。

：）

2011-02-04T09:23:00.000-08:00

Pigs and shit

2010-11-22T07:18:00.000-08:00

Wayne pulled out his iPad.

"Just look at it. Flip through it."

It was the levels pages of Angry birds.

You see, for past months, we had been furiously addicted to this game of crushing pigs with flying birds shot from a sling. It wasn't enough to just get past all the stages, it became paramount that we collected three stars for each stage, a mark of excellence of our mastery in pigs slaughter.

I flipped through the pages in silence. Every level was marked with three stars.

"You are crazy." I announced.
He turned away slowly and smugly, knowing full well I actually meant, "Wow."

I had to hand it to him, he was determined to make the difficult possible. It was, I suppose in other words, an accomplishment. Of sorts. He was this close to not making the definition.

I try to remember the people closest to me and some of their accomplishments. Big or small.

My dad washed dishes to pay for his school fees, my mother raised 3 daughters on $300 a month for years. My sister Kia remained kooky and genuine despite of her high flying job, and there is the other sister Jeanette.

One day Jeanette came home from the hospital at lunch time. She looked exactly like someone who had been up all night with snatches of sleep in between. She plopped down by the dinner table and told me she managed to dig all the shit out of this man who had renal failure while I was having soup. I put my bowl down.

"I beg your pardon?"
"I had to, he couldn't pass shit, if I didn't he would die of toxicity."
"Oh."
"Tonight!"
"Ohkay! I get it!"

I resumed drinking my soup, then it suddenly struck me,
"You did it with your hands?"

She rolled her eyes and said,
"With gloves on of course silly."

I don't think I told you, but that my dear, is an accomplishment.

I supposed all these little things may not amount to much at this point.
And sometimes we wonder why we do the things we do, be it soldiering on with bombing pigs or digging fecal waste from someone's intestines. Some of it makes complete sense, and some do not.

But i believe in the cool cliche that everything happens for a reason. Just like Steve Jobs and his course in typography in college. Just like washing dishes behind a restaurant in winter. Just like plowing for shit. And what the hell, maybe, just like slaughtering pigs on your iPad. We may not have the answers now, and maybe at the end of it, we realised we do it only just because, WE CAN .

Hell yeah everybody. Let's roll.

Translation courtesy of joyapple:

猪与粪便

曹先生 (Wayne) 抽出他的iPad.

"你看一下嘛。"

那是愤怒的小鸟（目前一种十分流行的iPad/iPhone游戏）的等级页面。

你可知道，过去的几个月里，我们一直疯狂地沉迷于这个用投石器把小鸟弹出去打猪的游戏。打通关已经不够了，我们到最后，每一关都必须搜集三颗星。这才能看出一个人杀猪技术的登峰造极。

我静静地浏览了每一页。每一关都是三颗星。

“你太疯狂了。”我宣布说，

他慢慢地转过脸，有几分得意，他确信我其实是在说“哇！”

我不得不承认，他曾下定决心去攻克所有的难关。我想，换句话说，这也算一种成就。在某种程度上。他这种行为只差一点点就不能定义成就这个词了。

我努力想身边的人和他们的成就。伟大的或卑微的。

我的父亲为了攒自己的学费去刷盘子，我的母亲每月用300新币养育了三个女儿很多年。我的姐姐燕佳尽管从事着高职的工作，却还保持着个性和真诚。还有我的妹妹燕美。

一天，燕美午饭时间从医院回家。她看起来像是熬了一整夜，只是中间眯了一小会而已似的。她扑通一声坐在餐桌前，告诉我她帮一个肾衰竭的病人把粪便全部清理出来。当时我正在喝汤。我放下碗。

“再说一遍？”
“我必须要这么做，他无法排泄，要是我不这么做，他就会中毒身亡。”
“哦。”
“今晚就会！”
“OK我知道了！”

我重新喝我的汤，突然又有了疑问。
“你用你的手做的吗？”

她翻了白眼说：
“当然要带手套了，笨蛋。”

我想我没有对你说过，但是亲爱的，这是你的成就。

此时此刻，所有这些琐事也许目前感觉没什么大不了的吧。

有的时候我们会思考，为什么要做我们做的事情。不管是不屈不挠地挑战如何炸猪，还是从一个人的肠子里挖出粪便。有些事情是意义非凡的，而有的感觉一点意义都没有。

但我相信，用俗不可耐却很酷的话说，凡事皆事出有因。比如斯蒂芬·乔布斯（苹果的CEO）在大学期间学了排版印刷。比如冬天在一家餐馆的后门洗刷盘子。比如清理粪便。又或者也许在 iPad玩杀猪游戏也算在内。我们现在可能没有找出答案，也许最终，我们只是意识到我们这样做只是因为：我们做得到。

来吧大家。飞吧飞吧。

2010-08-02T19:48:00.000-07:00

The other day while playing mahjong, we indulged in our usual gossiping.

"Oh so and so broke up with his gf."
"Really, weren't they getting married?"
"Nah she wasn't really his type."
"How so?"
"Hmm let's just say she's a little bit coarse."
"Coarse? What do you mean coarse?"

In my mind I was thinking, this had better be good.

"You know, a little bit ribald....low class."
"Whaaat?!"

The mahjong resumed clacking as I pondered inward.

"I'm coarse!"

There was some awkward silence before I started berating them on being
mean and judgmental. Our game resumed, but it got me pondering on this
ubiquitous categorization of people into "classes".

My mister told me, "a person with class does not talk about it." which
made me even more disturbed about its furtiveness.

Even as singapore prides itself on it's diverse yet harmonious
society, we still can't seem to run away from this classification (pun
intended). There is the old rich, the kuoks, the tans, the lees, (I am
randomly putting out surnames here, I don't actually know the list of
the who's who in Singapore), the nouveau riche who made bank from a
sudden windfall or business or selling millions of CDs, the middle
class and the lower income bracket. This classification is purely
monetary and should in no way determine the classiness of an
individual. Right?

So does it boil down to education? I know this girl who never made it
to college but has the classiest way of putting you at ease. A primary
school educated man who remained silent about his rivals'
indiscretions even under extreme pressure. That's classy.

Upbringing? Basic etiquette? Dressing appropriately? This can go on an on!

I define classiness as being honest really. I don't think a well
spoken/dressed/known/mannered person should be bestowed a high class
honor for what he appears to be. I would rather keep a tattered true
friend than a polished back stabber by my side. My very sartorially
adept girlfriends would think I'm being ridiculous. Oi, better wear
more rags around me ok!!

But having said all this, I do know of obviously well
dressed/mannered/etc. individuals with integrity and forthrightness
(sorry I do not know of a better word). People like Christina Ong,
Harry Lee, Kit Chan...although I don't claim to know them personally,
But they sure have proven themselves over time to be able to walk the
walk and talk the talk. As for myself, I nestle comfortably, knowing that I lie
between them and the 'coarse'. I'm sure the world has space for the
likes of me.

Thank you for reading this, at an altitude of 20000 sq ft, I bid thee
a classy adieu. Buy!

Translation courtesy of Joyapple:

一天，我们打麻将的时候，又开始八卦起来。

“那个某某与女朋友分手了。”

“真的啊？他们不是要结婚吗？”

“不可能，她不是他喜欢的类型。”

“怎么会呢？”

“嗯..我觉得她有点粗俗。”

“粗俗？这话怎么讲？”

我心想，最好是一个有建议性的解释。

“就是…有点恶俗…低级。”

“什么？？！！！！”

我们继续啪啪地打麻将，可我内心不禁开始思考起来。

“我也粗俗！”

突然安静下来，有些尴尬。我开始怪他们这样讲太刻薄、太主观。我们继续打麻将，但我已开始反思这个普遍存在的现象——把人划分等级。

先生告诉我，“一个有修养的人是不会讨论这个话题的。”于是我对于它的隐晦性感到更加不安。

尽管新加坡人对于我们多元但和谐的社会感到自豪，我们似乎仍然无可避免地被划分为三六九等（故意使用双关语）。我们有富裕的老家族、郭氏家族啦、谭氏家族啦、李氏家族啦，（我在这里随意列出几个姓氏，其实我并不太了解新加坡的名人录），通过意外收获或者做生意或者卖掉几百万张CD而致富的新贵、中产阶级和低收入群体。这种划分仅仅是从金钱角度的，所以完全不应该据此判断一个人的品位和修养。是吧？

这应该归结到教育上吗？我认识从未上过大学却让你感到非常自如的女孩。一名只有小学学历的男人却可以顶着巨大的压力，对于他竞争对手的轻率鲁莽保持沉默。这才叫做有品位有修养。

教养？基本礼节？衣着得体？说不完的性状！

我对于修养和品位的定义是要真正诚实。我不认为一个善谈的/衣着光鲜的/出名的/举止优雅的人仅根据他们的外表就可以被称作高层人士。我宁愿拥有一位衣衫褴褛的真正朋友，也不想身边有一个看起来体面却能在背后捅刀子的人。我那些很会打扮的女朋友们该觉得我不可思议了。是的，在我身边你们都穿破布好了！！

但说了这么多，我确实认识一些衣着考究、举止优雅的人却正直坦率的人（抱歉我没想出更好的形容词）。像Christina Ong, 李光耀, 陈洁仪这些人…我私下倒不是与他们很熟，但时间证明他们确实可以说到做到。对于我本人而言，我在这舒服地呆着，知道自己处于他们和‘粗俗之人’中间。我确信世界之大，可以容纳我这样的人。

谢谢你们读这篇博文，在处于海拔两万英尺的高度，我对你们优雅地说再见。拜~

注：
1、Christina Ong 是 COMO group 创办人，她于 1972 年创建了 “Club 21”（Multi-label store）公司。
2、Harry Lee：李光耀，曾任新加坡总理，现任新加坡内阁资政。
3、Kit Chan：陈洁仪，新加坡著名实力派女歌手及舞台剧演员。

sie sie

2010-06-09T09:42:00.000-07:00

I now have time to take a breather.

You see, on the day of my 10th year anniversary into the mad world of entertainment, I had the most exciting time of my life.

It started at 515, when my alarm went off into motorcyle mode. (i.e. my phone wakes me up with a vroom vroom, the promise of a new day with wind in my hair/step). I brushed my teeth quickly and went out without a trace of makeup (HA! AS IF!). My parents were already waiting for me all decked in yellow, the most unflattering shade for Asians. But to NOT digress, we trundled in the car and set off towards Mt Faber.

Upon arriving a rather grey and slightly drizzling Merlion, we saw from afar the congregation of a sea of yellow. It was a super chirpy sight. Boy was I glad I was in the same T SHIRT. Taking over the loud speaker from Queen, I realised that my mind was a blank at the unearthly hour. I do not recall what I said, but I remember turning to look at the rising sun with a group of people behind me. A warm fuzzy bubble started to form from there.

We began our walk towards the Henderson Wave before the sun was fully upon us as we walked the steps carefully in the still grey skies. We then took pictures at the beautiful waves and the skyline of singapore behind us.

Finally we made our way to the Flower Terrace and from there we had some bread, apple, mineral water, and we even had a giant cake! We then chitchat and played games.

There were friends from Malaysia, HongKong, Beijing, Yunnan, Inner Mongolia, Fujian, Australia and of course Singapore. A few of them made the trip down especially for the trek today. I WAS TRULY AMAZED AT THEIR DEDICATION. One hongkong fan had to sleep over in the airport to rush back for her exams the next day! Blardy amazing isn't it.

Right now, my mind is kind of still in a whirl with the lack of sleep and because i had really foolishly scheduled a meeting after and had been brainstorming with all kinds of ideas thrown in. It's a weird state to be in. I am feeling both alive and spaced out. So DO forgive me for the lack of coherence. I had a really great day and will digest it slowly like a hamster with stuffed cheeks.

TILL THEN, thank you so much to you all, for organising, putting in so much effort, and of course for turning up. I FEEL TRULY SUPER SPECIAL. TO THE MAX.

Here's to two hundred more years. CHEERS.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

2010-04-29T02:05:00.000-07:00

Came across this speech today. I think this should be shared with as many people as possible.

------
Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony.

This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.
-----

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

A beauty post

2010-02-13T18:14:00.000-08:00

非常感谢joyapple的翻译：辛苦你了！！！！
(The original blog post is below)

燕姿的护肤秘笈

我答应过大家，决定写一篇关于化妆品的文章。在新的一年里，开始选择自己最适合的化妆品，是再好不过的事情啦！

有人会说，这样做很不明智啦。因为只要选择代言一种护肤品，签一份利润丰厚、尊贵荣耀的代言合同，还是非常有利可图的。但是你们知道，这些合同当然很吸引人很赚钱，可我就是不想这样做。

青春期过后，我的皮肤不是很光滑。我尝试过去死皮、激光治疗和磨皮手术（能尝试的我基本都尝试过了）。得出的结论是，一旦皮肤组织结构被破坏，是无论如何也很难恢复原样了。所以，谢谢那些大品牌护肤品商了，你们那些神奇的产品有一部分我已列在了这里，其余的呢，让他们自己慢慢享受吧！

（下面提到的大部分产品是我正价购买的。如遇打折和赠品，我也会在产品后面标明。）

我最喜欢的护肤品

洁面产品

1. Dermalogica德美乐嘉- ultra calming cleanser 特效镇静洁肤霜
（几年前他们给过我赠品）

我喜欢在每天早晨用这款半透明无泡沫的啫喱状洁面产品。它能去皮肤上的油脂及污垢，不对皮肤造成任何伤害，并带有清新的淡香。如果你喜欢泡沫洁面乳，不要买这款，并且它不能卸掉油性化妆品。它只是强力洁面产品的替代产品，适宜干燥的气候，尤其推荐敏感性皮肤使用。

2. MAKE UP STORE北欧彩妆华典 - Intensive foam remover 泡沫紧致洁面水

我喜欢这款产品，它能直接从瓶中挤出泡沫，不必再用手搓出泡沫了。这款产品带有桉树的清新气味，并宣称能为皮肤补氧（不过我不知道怎么补）。它用温柔的泡沫去除残留的化妆品。我把它装在旅行装的喷嘴小瓶里（当然从无印良品买的啦），便于随身携带。每次使用都能让我精神焕发！

卸妆产品

3. Fancl - Mild Cleansing Oil纳米净化卸妆油

这款产品我用了很多年。这个品牌宣称不含防腐剂，因此产品的保存期限很短。但除去这点不说，这款卸妆油让皮肤感觉舒适，它能去除全部的化妆品（就算你浓妆艳抹成变装皇后也不怕）。与其它知名品牌的卸妆油相比，我认为这款产品效果最大，不良感觉和味道最少。

4. Pond's cream 旁氏乳霜

对于一部分人来说，这个东西很讨厌，因为洗不掉。你可以把它擦拭掉，如果你化的是浓妆的话，确实会花里胡哨的（这种情况用上面第三款产品就OK了）。但它很滋润皮肤，在干燥的天气里，效果尤为明显。我去北京和一些寒冷的城市时，脸会像干燥的沙漠，这时我就用这款产品。便宜但效果好，这是每个女孩都应该必备的护肤品。在药房买原装产品就好，不必买日本产的，那种既不便宜效果也不好。这款产品好评如潮，建议干性皮肤使用，也可每周使用一次，可以去除毛孔里的污垢而且不伤害皮肤。

化妆水

5. SK II - Miracle Water 护肤精华露（神仙水）

（他们几年前也给过我一些产品）

这款产品是几年前推荐给我的，那时郑秀文以完美无暇的雀斑脸出现在电视里。不过用过之后，我脸上出现了小油脂粒，持续了几天。上个月我在我妈的梳妆台上又看见这个东西，决定在抛弃它几年后，再试试。然后我很高兴也很惊讶！
油脂粒再也没出现，我的皮肤颜色变得更均匀，皮肤不再那么油，更加紧致。哈哈，你一定会说这是怎么回事呢？当你年纪不大时，你的皮肤很提供很多弹性蛋白和胶原蛋白。随着年龄增加，这些东西会慢慢减少、消失。所以用一些东西来填补每一寸皮肤还是有必要的。但我的一个女朋友也出现了相同的脂肪粒问题。我不知是怎么回事，我猜可能因人而异吧。

面部保湿

6.Mario Badescu - Herbal Hydrating Serum 水漾草本精华素（丝芙兰有售）
（买的时候打折了）

我在各种场合都使用它。其实我喜欢它奇怪的蓝色和它精巧便携的包装！好啦，它是啫哩状精华素，给皮肤补水，不增加皮肤的负担。我有时会在湿热天气时不需要补水的情况下把它与SK II混合在一起使用，在寒冷天气时，与更保湿的产品一起用增强效果。真是好东西！

7. Physiogel洁美净- Moisturising cream保湿修护霜（在万宁大的分店和屈臣氏都有售）

非常好的保湿产品。我的脸上和身上都用。它无味，使你的皮肤快活、满意、饱满。当然我有一点夸张啦，但它确实是一款好的药物保湿产品，在如今琳琅满目的选择中往往被忽视。很适合干性皮肤和恶劣气候下。（可能在新加皮就不那么适合啦）
-------------------------------------------

好啦我先写到这里。我觉得这个文章是很有用的，因为我的浴室被这些东西塞得满满的，很恐怖。也许上述产品并不对每个人都适合，但他们目前在我堆积如山的瓶瓶罐罐里面是我最最喜欢的。有空我会写一篇关于我最喜欢的化妆品。我希望你们喜欢上述产品。大家虎年吉祥。吼吼！！

As promised, I have decided to do one post on beauty products, for what's a better way to start the lunar new year with some 'best' beauty products??

Some would say I am mad, for there are millions to be made from a lucrative endorsement with promises of prestige and honor, you just have to proclaim your monogamous loyalty. But you see, as much as these offers are tempting and certainly purse friendly, I will never see myself doing it.

My pubescent years have left me with less than perfect skin, and from skin peeling to sophisticated lasers and dermabrasions (which I have tried them all by the way). I can see that once the structure is damaged, there is little you can do to restore it to its former glory. So thank you to the big brands if you are reading this, some of your wonderful products are actually listed here, and for the rest of you, ENJOY.

(Most of the products listed are bought at full price. In the event of a discount or a freebie, it would be stated under the product's description.)

MY FAVOURITE SKINCARE PRODUCTS

Facial wash

1. Dermalogica - ultra calming cleanser
(They had given me some freebies years ago)

I like to use this non foaming translucent gel like cleanser IN THE MORNINGS. It removes oil and dirt without any trauma to the skin and has very mild fragrance. If you prefer foaming cleansers, do not get this, also it does NOT remove oil based make up. It is just a good alternative to harsh cleansers, especially good for dry acrid climates and is especially recommended for sensitive skin.

2. MAKE UP STORE - Intensive foam remover

I like the bottle that pumps out balls of foam so that you don't have to lather it up in your hands. This cleanser has a fresh eucalyptis smell and promises to deliver oxygen to your skin (although I have no idea how that happens). It removes the last of my make up with the gentle foam and I have since bought a travel friendly pump bottle (from Muji of course) so that I can bring around with me. Perks me up everytime I use it!

Make up Removers

3. Fancl - Mild Cleansing Oil

I have been using this for years. The brand advocates that preservatives are unnecessary and therefore the products tend to have limited shelf lives. But that aside, this cleansing oil feels comfortable against the skin and it removes ALL makeup (yes even if you are in drag queen glory). Compared with the other popular brands of cleansing oil, I find this the most effective and least synthetic smelling/feeling.

4. Pond's cream

To some people, this is disgusting stuff that you can't wash off. You may only tissue it off and is actually really messy if you have heavy make up on (in which case use item number 3). But it has such good emollient qualities that you could actually feel the difference especially when used in dry weather. I use it when in Beijing or some other cold cities when my face feels like a parched desert. Cheap and good, this is one handy cream to have in anyone's skincare cabinet. Buy the original from a good pharmacy, do not bother buying the Japanese version as it is a lot pricier and less effective. This product has received rave reviews and is recommended for dry skin or a weekly purge for the impurities logged in the pores without stripping the skin.

Toner

5. SK II - Miracle Water
(They had also given me some products years ago)

I was introduced to this products years ago when Sammi Cheng was hogging our tv sets with her perfectly freckled face. Upon using it however, it gave me little oil bumps that hovered around for a few days. Last month I saw it again on my mother's dressing table and decided to give it another shot after years of aversion. I was pleasantly surprised!
The oil bumps never resurfaced, my skin tone looked more evened out, the texture became less oily and my skin feels denser. HAR? What does that mean I hear you say. You see, when you are young, your skin has a lot more to offer with all that elastin and collagen, as you age these stuff tend to deplete over time. Any thing that packs extra into each mm of skin is always good news. But having said that a girlfriend of mine had the same oil bumps problem. So I don't know, works on different people I guess.

Face Moisturiser

6. Mario Badescu - Herbal Hydrating Serum (available at Sephora)
(I get a discount when I buy this)

I use it with everything. I actually like the queer blue colour and the fact that the packaging is so tiny and handy! Ok, it is a gel like serum that hydrates your skin without your skin feeling weighed down. I mix it sometimes with the SK II when I want minimal moisturising to a hot and humid day or a denser moisturiser for an extra boost in cold weather. Good stuff.

7. Physiogel - Moisturising cream (available at most big branches of Guardian or Watsons)

Excellent moisturiser. I use it on my body and face. It has no smell and makes your skin feel happy, content and pampered. Ok I am exaggerating a bit, but it truly is a good pharmaceutical moisturiser that is probably quite overlooked with the plethora of choices nowadays. Very good for dry skin and harsh weather conditions (maybe less so in Singapore).

-------------------------------------------

Ok I will stop for now. The reason why I thought this post would be useful is because I really have a scary bathroom chockfull of products. Some of the products listed above may not be suitable for everyone but they are definitely my favourites amongst the mountain of bottles and jars (for now). Someday I will write a post on my favourite make up essentials. I hope you like the list above. Happy Tiger Year everyone! *Roar.

Drivel

2010-02-01T09:57:00.000-08:00

I am thinking some frivolous post might take my mind off the inevitable. As someone special mentioned, fear paralyses you into inertia. You end up thinking that it should be ok and consciously shelf the task at hand to the back of your mind. Doesn't work that way darling. Rest assure it comes back to bite you in your arse and I am certainly feeling the fangs on this one. But let's get back to frivolity...

Well.　

I decided a few days ago that I would embark on some dull yet obsessive homekeeping. I laughed out loud today over a very posh lunch at basilico when I revealed my collection of Muji boxes. I think the figure was something like 53. 　It has since ballooned slightly since my last visit there. I also have 53 labels stuck onto each of them. I have confirmed my fears that I am dull. I hope there is a cure for it.

I had also begun a rather enthusiastic regime of yoga(I went for 7 classes in a week), and mull over taking performance enhancing beverages and keep with me, a ready supply of spirulina, swissoats, probiotics and aspirins. I think it is a rather strange obsession with control and of course 'necessary' preparatory work for the concert in HK. But one thing's for sure, I can't seem to eat healthy. I love my MSG, desserts, fatty beef, belachan, fried fish.

In fact, thinking of them makes me a little peckish. But it's 2am, so I should ......

This post is going nowhere ANYWAY. Goodbye!

2010-01-05T07:46:00.000-08:00

Something interesting that I came across:

The Law of Least Effort
This law is based on the fact that nature’s intelligence functions with effortless ease and abandoned carefreeness. This is the principle of least action, of no resistance. This is, therefore, the principle of harmony and love. When we learn this lesson from nature, we easily fulfill our desires. In Vedic Science, the age-old philosophy of India, this principle is known as the principle of economy of effort, or “do less and accomplish more.” Ultimately, you come to the state where you do nothing and accomplish everything. This means that there is just a faint idea, and then the manifestation of the idea comes about effortlessly. What is commonly called a “miracle” is actually an expression of the Law of Least Effort.Least effort is expended when your actions are motivated by love, because nature is held together by the energy of love. When you seek power and control over other people, you waste energy. When you seek money or power for the sake of the ego, you spend energy chasing the illusion of happiness instead of enjoying happiness in the moment. When your actions are motivated by love, your energy multiplies and accumulates–and the surplus energy you gather and enjoy can be channeled to create anything that you want, including unlimited wealth. There are three components to the Law of Least Effort–three things you can do to put this principle of “do less and accomplish more” into action. The first component is acceptance. Acceptance simply means that you make a commitment: “Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances and events as they occur.” This means I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. The second component is responsibility. This means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation, including yourself. This allows you the ability to have a creative response to the situation as it is now. All problems contain the seeds of opportunity, and this awareness allows you to take the moment and transform it to a better situation or thing. The third component to the Law of Least Effort is defenselessness. This means that you have relinquished the need to convince or persuade others of your point of view. If you relinquish this need you will in that relinquishment gain access to enormous amounts of energy that have been previously wasted.”

http://deepakchopra.com/category/interact-blog/7-spiritual-laws/

Truly a convenient law for the lazies. Cheers!

2009-12-19T18:46:00.000-08:00

I read all these articles on the luxury buyers in china and whole disertations and publications that disect the minds, buying behaviour and patterns of these rich and elite and of course, ways to ensnare the flushed buyer. It brings to my mind the question, what is value? Or rather, what is valuable?
This, a question that i believe everyone with some cognizance of scarcity asks themselves, and if I knew more rich people than the masses, I would say, open your eyes. Because being wealthy means very little if you owned things of little value, both the tangible and the impalpable. But as usual, this is just my two cents.

Translation courtesy of Joyapple:

我读了一些关于中国的奢侈品购买者的文章，几乎千篇一律在讲消费心理、消费行为以及有钱人／精英的消费类型，刺激消费者购买的方式。这些让我思考这样一个问题：价值是什么？或者说，什么是有价值的？
对于这个问题，我相信，每一个意识到物质稀缺的人都会扪心自问的。如果说我认识的富人比我认识一般消费者更多一点，我会说，睁大眼睛看一看。因为如果你拥有的东西没有＂价值＂（无论是实物还是意识形态方面的），那么拥有财富又有什么意义呢？不过当然了，这只是我的一家之言而已。

@.@

2009-10-20T01:47:00.000-07:00

This girl I met for the first time asked me if I stayed in a terrace or a bungalow.
I looked at her in the eye and said,
"I stay in a condominium."
She looked a little surprised and turned her head away without further enquiries.

What I really wanted to say was,

"What are you, 6 years old?"
"Do you also want the balance in my bank account?"

I know I'm being a bitch, but what happened to basic manners? Is it just me or is it baffling that a teenage girl didn't know how else to know a person better? Ok I'm going to stop here, and hopefully remember to tell her it's rude the next time I see her.

2009-10-19T05:11:00.000-07:00

I am jumping on the tweet wagon:

username: Stefsunyanzi

please check it out. Thanks.

Ichiban Boshi

2009-09-03T12:13:00.001-07:00

Having not eaten Jap food for a long time, I was craving some negitoro don again from my favourite mid priced restaurant Ichiban Boshi at Great World City. Negitoro isn't on the menu, and normally I would ask the older, more experienced staff to order from the kitchen. But today, I'm happy I took the road not yet travelled.

Ichiban is offering a new Chef recommended set ($24.95) of sushi that includes the perennial favourite, the seared otoro, seared salmon belly with a generous dollop of mayonnaise, fresh squid, horse mackeral (which tasted kinda metallic, uni, and a few others that I can't really remember. The set also came with a clear soup with tofu and seaweed.

So. delish. I wish I could eat Japanese food everyday.

To err again is plain stupid

2009-06-08T12:12:00.000-07:00

I scratched my car at the EXACT same spot again. I am truly a true blue stewpid fool.

It's this bloody column erected in the middle of a slope in a carpark. It's funny how people make the same mistakes over and over, EVEN if you were careful. Trust me I was breaking into a cold sweat when I saw in the rear window that the body was a millimeter from the column. I simply did not know how to get out of this quagmire. I inched forward, engaged the reverse gear in a last ditch despair, and heard the heart wrenching scrape.

No toilet paper is worth those multiple scratches.

argh.

Having said that, I recently got into a tiff with someone who was once very close to me. She decided to repeatedly remind me how I should have done this and that to have avoided the conflict. Stewpidly, I did the same to her by replying to her torrents of accusations.
Another case of repeat mistake, but this time, mirroring a mistake made by someone else. We have officially fallen out and I feel scathed and traumatised (like my GTI). I think it is hard to tell if the whole argument was fundamentally flawed, and the circumstances that lead to it were certainly unfortunate and unnecessary. But one thing's for sure, avoid driving too close to columns smack in the middle of a carpark, and remember why you kept your mouth shut in the first place.

That's my stewpid advice for today.

Translation courtesy of Abigale:

我在同个地点再次刮坏了我的车，我真的是笨到极点了。

那个该死的圆柱直立在停车场斜坡的中央，但好笑的是人总是一次又一次的在那犯同样的错误，即使是你已经很小心了。相信我，当我从后窗玻璃里看见仅仅与圆柱1毫米之隔，我全身冒着冷汗，那是我完全不知道要怎样摆脱这样的困境，我前进了几英寸，当我绝望的想最后倒车试一试的时候，我听到了惨不忍睹的擦痕声。

没有厕纸值得这样的创伤。

话虽如此，我最近和一位曾经跟我很要好的朋友起了争吵，她一再重复的提醒着我当初因该如何做才能避免这些不必要的冲突，然而我却还是心急的的反驳着她的指责。

还是犯着同样的错误，但是这次，是把别人错误从我身上反映出来了。我们也因此脱离了。我感到伤痕累累（就像我的GTI），我想很难去争论那最初是谁的过错，也觉得我们经历了一些不必要，不开心的过程。可能是运气不好，但这一切，我想也没必要再去争论。
但确定的是，在停车场要避免与圆柱靠的太近了，而且要记住当初沉默的理由。

这就是我今天我愚蠢的忠告。

2009-06-01T08:44:00.000-07:00

My poor Aunty Jenny was admitted to the hospital a few days ago. I think they suspected dengue fever! After a series of blood tests, they have diagnosed it as a bacteria infection in the blood.

I hope she gets well soon.

Aunty Jenny is my favourite aunt. She's single and stays over whenever she wants to hang out with the kiddies or play mahjong. I remember when we were young, she used to tickle us so mercilessly that tears would stream down our faces and our muscles would go soft. It felt like the tickling would NEVER END, and they were almost tears of despair.
On retrospect, the fear of each calculated move from her side expounded the ticklish sensation. She certainly used it to its full effect, pausing in between, her eyes darting away, her body froze in motion like a prey with her fingers in the air, and then out of nowhere, no warning signs whatsoever, she swoops down for the 'kill'.

She now does it to the kiddies at home. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Translation courtesy of Stelart:

我可憐的Jenny安娣前幾天被確診入院，我想他們懷疑她患了登革熱。經過一系列的血樣檢驗，醫生診斷為血液的細菌感染。

我希望她可以快快好起來。

Jenny 安娣是阿姨中我最喜歡的。她一直單身，而且每次她想和小孩子一起玩耍或者打麻將的時候，她都會留下來過夜。我記得在我們小的時候，她常常毫不留情的我們搔我們癢癢，常常弄到我們流出眼淚，肌肉都癱軟下來。彷彿那個搔癢的舉動永遠都不會停止，而我們的眼淚簡直就是絕望的淚水.
回首過去，每次她有計劃的舉動都會引起我對那種瘙癢感覺的小恐懼。她顯然把搔癢的技巧用到了極致，在其間她會突然停止，目光突然閃開，她的身體會停住不動，像等待被捕的獵物，而手指停在空中。然後不知從哪裡伸出，也完全沒有預兆，她便猛然撲向我們，對我們施以“致命一擊”。

她現在也如此地对待家裡的小朋友，哈哈哈哈哈。

A New Link

2009-05-18T11:51:00.000-07:00

Type:

yanzi.posterous.com

for readers living in China. The ironic thing is, they probably cannot read this post. Help please anyone?

300 Zs

2009-05-17T11:20:00.000-07:00

GOOOOD Evening everybardy,

While on the plane today, my sister and I were talking about certain fears.

"Do you know why some people keep the tap on while they brush their teeth?"
"Hmm...."
"I was thinking about it last night. Initially, I thought it was because they are afraid that the water might somehow run out and therefore the current stream of running water might have been some sort of an assurance. Then I thought, no it's because they are afraid of not being able to rinse out the toothpaste from their mouth the very minute they are done."
"....ok."

It is not a revelation, pure laziness could explain the whole tap running thing, it could explain a lot of things I suppose, but let's not get lazy and take it for more than it should be credited.

Has it been worth the wait? Could I have found the answers earlier? I had people asking me how I did it, why I could have done it, one even asked if I knew I was worth the wait. I'm not a magician, and as you already know, I don't have all the answers to everything I do. It could have been a complete failure, another 2 hour long music program, just another concert to dole out just because it was about time to refresh everyone's memory and rinse that stale taste from the mouth.

But it wasn't just that. It was about letting the sting fester and scab, and then nipping it in the bud even when there were no clear answers, no map, no end in sight. It was about taking it up, gathering your nerves and believing in your power to control a destiny. It was a great battle, thank you for giving me the chance to fight. I can sleep like a pig now.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Translation courtesy of someone:

300 個睡意...

各位晚安

今天在飛機上，我跟我姐討論有關恐懼的問題。

「你知道為何有些人喜歡一邊開著水龍頭一邊刷牙嗎?」
「嗯..」
「我昨天在想這個問題。起初想因為他們怕突然沒水出來，所以長長流水能給予一點點安全感。後來我想，是因為他們怕快刷好的時候剛好沒水，牙膏沒法沖走。」
「...嗯，是吧。」

這並不是一項啟示，基本上懶惰就能解釋一切。我想它還可以解釋很多事哩。

這是值得等待的嗎? 我已經找到答案了嗎? 有人問我怎樣完成它的，為什麼要這樣做，有人甚至問我，我覺得自己值得讓大家等待的嗎。

我不是魔術師，你們都已經知道，我對很多事情還是沒有答案。它有可能是一個完全失敗的表演，只不過是一個兩小時的音樂節目，或者另一個為辦而辦的演唱會，只因為太久沒出來，是時候讓大家記得我，讓待久了的口腔有機會漱一漱。

但，其實並不只是這樣的。這讓我的傷口化膿然後結疤，然後碰觸一下膿頭，發現還是沒有明確的答案，沒有路線、地圖，前面也沒有盡頭。這也是指我又開始，集中棈神，相信自己能夠控制命運。這是一場漂亮的杖，謝謝大家給我這個機會。我現在可以睡得像死豬了。

ps.300Zs應該是雙關語，據側面了解
台灣姿迷在送機時對燕姿大喊:「THIS IS STEFANIE!」(改編自電影300壯士)

Good enough

2009-05-07T20:43:00.001-07:00

The last two weeks have been grueling.

I'm now nursing a fragile 'post recovery' stomach and some injured ribs down my left side. I am hoping that in a week, they would ALL go away and I would be trip hoppin down the giant egg. Believing in karma means that this has to be so, it's payback first and then the fruits of the labour later.

Let us cross our fingers everybardy.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

2009-04-24T08:33:00.000-07:00

EVERYBARDY....

I got some weird comments here and there and I was thinking, it would be VERY useful (please please please) if someone could accurately translate some of the stuff for me, somewhere, sometime? This is an informal channel of my rants (and yes I think I am entitled to express my likes and dislikes),and I hate to think that someone is misunderstanding my posts.

And for those who choose to think the worse of my intentions/opinions, you are not welcomed here. Thank you.

For those who enjoy my one sided monologue, you rock man, thank YOU!! :D

ok i don't have time already, i need to flit off. GOODBYE.

TRANSLATION COURTESY OF STELART:

拜托拜托拜托

各位。。。

我最近收到一些怪異的評論，這讓我不禁覺得如果有人能為我精確的翻譯這些東西將會（對減少這些怪異的留言）十分有幫助（拜托拜托拜托）有誰能在有時間的時候幫忙翻譯一下然后發布在某些地方？這個博客是我發泄我的想法的一個非正式渠道（而且我認為我有這個權利表達我的愛好與厭惡）。一想到有人正在誤解我的意思我就不开心。

此外，對于那些選擇把我的意圖和觀點往壞處想的，你在這里不受歡迎。Thank you(請離開，謝謝).

對于那些喜歡看我這些獨白的朋友，你很贊，thank YOU!! :D (真心的感謝你！！)

Ok,我没有時間了，要飞了。再見啦。

Congrats your head

2009-04-23T07:08:00.000-07:00

Thanks to very imaginative reporters, I have had a few congratulatory messages over facebook.

Eh, 6 years ago some fortune teller said I would get married, it did not materialise and then the year after, they took a shot again. I'm not saying I enjoy single-dom so much so that it is a lifelong spinster pledge, but please stop predicting my marital status just because I'm in a relationship.

Sure it's one or the other, a 'happy' forecast of bliss ever after, a long 'drawn out' companionship or a 'tragic' breakup from irreconcilable differences. How about not telling me what's going to happen? How about letting me find out for myself what lies ahead instead of drawing out my future floor plan? It's like telling everyone you are pregnant even before you took a pregnancy test.

Reporter: Are you getting married soon?
Me: I'm not against marriage but it's not in the pipeline anytime soon.
Headlines: She's getting married!

Reporter: Do you like children?
Me: I love kiddies!
Headlines: She's getting married and having children!

Ok, I loved the idea of happily ever after, and I do blame walt disney for all the fairy tale endings. But being together sometimes just means, BEING TOGETHER. It doesn't mean getting hitched, or popping out babies. Just because I do not oppose of something, does not mean that I endorse it.

I think this discussion is over.

I have been taking creatine to boost atheletic performance. Unfortunately it has caused ulcers and snappy retorts to anyone around me. Apparently this supplement is very 'zhua' or 'heaty', but it did improve my endurance level. I am torn. I have reduced it to only one tablet a week (even though you are supposed to take two each time you exercise), and drinking lots of liquids and liang cha. It is very frustrating, but I will press on.

PRESS ON!!

(As in me, not the press.)

为什么？

2009-03-05T10:33:00.000-08:00

给那些不看英文的人：

这是我刚看到的一则留言：

Anonymous said...

孫燕姿!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
你下次再來香港的話我一定把你鎖在廁所裡還要拿走所有的紙巾

-.-|||

Of Ribena and Other Things

2009-03-05T07:05:00.000-08:00

It's raining cats and dogs again in Singapore, and tonight is one of those nights where you would huddle at home, watch your favourite tv shows or curl up with a good magazine with some ribena and beef pastrami! Or pistachios! Or instant noodles! Whatever, you know what i mean.

--

Some friends have remarked on the changes in me and the way i look these days. It's one of those things that you know and you don't.

You know you have changed, somewhat. It is in the choices you make, it's in the way you wear your hair, the way lipsticks suddenly seem like a beautiful idea... you don't know if you had changed that much though. You are still very much stuck to your neurotic moody self which had already been paraded and worn proudly on your sleeves for years. And you are sure it is still alive and kicking you in the butt more often than you would care to share with the whole world.

So when I had another choice to be something else, I hopped happily unto it. It was like a breath from the oxygen tank in the backstage.

Being another girl who knows you from somewhere, from some other time, being a protagonist in another flight of fantasy actually gives me room to breathe. I don't need to be myself for that moment, I don't need to ponder on how bizarrely unnatural it is to have to constantly put your unpolluted self out there for the world to see, crossing my fingers that they would like what I had to offer.

Being another girl means a different story, sometimes, a different kind of courage, but almost always, the same questions. And I know, we all have the same kind of questions that we ask ourselves over and over and over and over again.
And the answer?

--

Tonight is a cool and breezy night, so different from the last week when the air was so thick it was almost hard to breathe. I am having an ice cold ribena and have decided to skip the expired cookies. :)

恭喜发财！！！

2009-01-26T11:50:00.001-08:00

Jonah adds to the stash:

Come

2008-10-29T20:48:00.000-07:00

I got a message 2 days ago from a DJ friend of mine:
Girl we love you ah!

so I messaged back:
Erm, why ah?

he replied:
Aiya the newspaper is being bitchy again....

eh...at that time I didn't know what he was talking about. Honestly now, I still haven't seen the 'bitchy' write up. Something about me being a has been.

I'M A HAS BEEN? IT'S OFFICIAL NOW IS IT. Bring it on darlings. If refusing to sign on to a record company means i'm a has been then so be it. I'm going my way, whether anyone else thinks it's a good idea. I'm sick of the packaging, sick of the manoeuvring of the press, sick of formulaic promotion kits, sick of lousy inflated figures. I'm going to do my thing, at my pace, and give it up for distribution to a company of my choice. I'm keeping my hair long because it belongs to me now, and singing songs that excite me, and loving every minute of my freedom.

I am no longer burdened by the unbearable lightness of being. It's great being free and I have Nicole to thank for reminding me how short life could be.

I'm going my way so bring it on.

Lovely Stuff

2008-10-07T07:11:00.000-07:00

Today I spent the whole afternoon making oxtail stew.

First you heat up some olive oil in a casserole, fry some bacon cubes in this, add seasoned oxtail and brown them for a few minutes, taking care not to burn the bacon. Add carrots, leek, celery, sage, parsley and some red wine and oyster sauce. Let the alcohol bubble away, add water, cover it and let it stew in the oven for 3 and 1/2 hour.

HOW CAN IT NOT TASTE NICE? Try cooking most meats for 3 hours at least and they all taste good.

Serve it with mash potatoes.

I feel like Martha Stewart. In fact, I was just thinking about the most wonderful things in my life. Some of them aren't that accessible, but the simplest things that put a foolish grin on my face are actually readily available in stores!

YUP, unbelievable as it may seem for someone of my age and gender, I am a sucker for little material things.

Like stickers, and beautiful cards.

I will like to periodically share some items I love in this blog so that more people may partake in the same joy!

1. Swell Gel
Plant n Planet
Level 3 Centrepoint Shopping Centre
Even before I started working, I remember walking into this rather nondescript place and oohing over the pure ingredients in their products. This very handy gel is good for insect bites, but I like to bring a little jar with me and use it when I feel hot and stuffy. The eucalyptus oil is refreshing and it has no unnatural ingredients such as mineral oils or parabens.

2. Bioderma (make up remover and moisturizer for sensitive skin)
Available at most guardian pharmacies
This french brand is actually more popular than you think. I was recommended to use it by a HK chanteuse's make up artiste and found out that another TW chanteuse uses the same product. It removes make up gently and leaves no gross oily residue.

The moisturizer was a lucky hit. Last week, I had an unexplainable allergy to everything in my closet. My eyes turned puffy, my skin broke into rashes and I felt stuffed and bloated. BUT WHAT'S A GIRL/MAN NAMED ABEL TO DO? So I took a shot at this moisturizer and my skin cells are ALL SUPER HAPPY. I can feel the cells drinking in this gentle skin loving cream.

3.Egg Cartons
Available at most super markets/wet markets
These things are very handy when you are trying to plant stuff. They break down naturally, and therefore can be transfered straight to the soil with little distress that can occur from transferring the delicate saplings.

4.Water Bottle
Steal from your niece whatever
I got my pale greyish pink one from stella mc cartney for adidas. I like to make a bottle full of ice cold Ribena with a dash of organic apple cider every night before I sleep. It's my comfort drink.

ok that's all I can think of right now. With the economic downturn and the streets of Singapore turning eerily quieter, one of these simple pleasures might just make your day a little brighter.

Rebellion

2008-08-29T10:32:00.001-07:00

I just heard recently that a colleague of mine got beaten up about a year ago. Because he had many enemies, it was unclear who it might have been. I think my sympathy is however ambivalent. As much as I do not think he deserves to be physically hurt, I cannot but feel like he should have seen it coming someday.

I remember my days in school, there were these girls who were caught with cheap mall-bought drugs. They would unashamedly partake these diamond shaped 6 dollars tablets during school hours, getting themselves into a dizzying high before embarking on idiotic missions such as french kissing in the middle of a lesson. What were they thinking? I don't even know the options here, but my two cents is, they were thinking that their guts could have maybe brought them to a whole new platform. They were the epitome of the 'cool' and fearless. The girls who dared to do shit.

I don't know why I linked the two stories together, I had my share of swaggering, bitch slapping and curse-filled afternoons in the common toilets. Those hot and humid, effusive days.

You know that feeling? Whereby you do something so incredibly rebellious that you felt that sweet yet metallic taste of fear and power?

These days, I'm still trying to finish 1984. I know it is a literary prized piece of work. But I cannot appreciate it. This inescapable depressive oppression that builds around you envelopes you into a darker shade of grey. I'm still waiting for the proles to rebel. Hurry up.

Itchy sonny.

2008-08-11T01:11:00.000-07:00

My dog has this chronic skin irritation.

It plagues him every day, probably more so when there is no one around to chastise his bad nibbling habit. It has gotten so bad his fur is in patches, almost leopard-like except that he is in white and black.

I do feel sorry for the poor bugger. Since he can't see how he looks from aerial view, he probably still thinks he's a handsome fella.

CHEW CHEW CHEW.

I think there is a letter H on his shoulder blade formed by this incessant chewing. I think it stands for HOLY SHIT...or How man?

The last time I brought him to the vet, he gave him antibiotics. Being extremely crafty, it was almost impossible to hide the pill in his food. This interrupted course means that it not only gets worse, it becomes harder to treat. I feel like tearing out the hair on my own head.

It would be what they describe as the uncanny semblance between owners and their pets.

29 going on 20

2008-07-25T10:31:00.000-07:00

So 30 is the new 20. Or so they say. I suppose it all boils down to whether you can wear mini skirts and feel absolutely fab. Personally, I don't think any woman over 30 should wear mini skirts. It's like trying to suck on a holey straw. Holey moley, I don't even know what that means!
But honestly, with gravity pulling at your knee caps, who wants to see a 30 something in a mini, give me another Madonna in her leotards and I'll look the other way.

But 30 year olds can eat ice cream.

The other day I brought my niece to Island Creamery just 5 minutes away from my place. It's always the same old drill:

"What flavor do you want?"
"Pink."
"As in strawberry? You want strawberry ice cream?"
"Chocolate."

This delusion of being a princess surrounded in pink glitterati has led her to think all things pink. It doesn't fail to amuse me when she always inevitably point to the dark, (not unlike FECAL my dear) swarthy brown paste of ice. It blows her fantasy, but i guess chocolate is always the better flavour and boy does she KNOW IT.

Speaking of princesses, I never had a barbie doll. I think my younger sister might have had one...During my time, barbie dolls were expensive! At 7, Barbies were overpriced blonde, curvy, ideal woman packed in plastic.
I had the most hilarious time with this precocious class mate in primary school who had many and I, being the enviable moody girl at 7, I never failed to remind her the hideousness of her foreign treasured toy. I think it must have plagued her no end, she never brought them to school after that.

At 30, I will like to say, yes I was jealous of you having possesed the most coveted toy in my youth and I'm sorry if I made you feel victimised.

After all, I'm all grown up now.

;)

Whacha lookin at?

2008-06-30T02:19:00.000-07:00

I just have to post these pictures of this ridiculously cute toy dog when I was with Xiao Pu in Shanghai. Check out his candy floss tail. AND to top it off, it's not a puppy, i think the owner said he's 6.

A letter to you:

2008-06-20T04:52:00.000-07:00

I don't mean to scare you, but indeed the scariest thing in the world is to be completely and utterly bored with oneself, not looking in the mirror, not eating, not exercising, not bothering with anything towards the well being of oneself.

What else is left?

What next after the silence?

What does the silence mean?

2008-06-19T06:33:00.000-07:00

Stop and Stare
I think I'm moving but i go nowhere
Yea i know that everyone gets scared
but i've become what I can't be
Do you see what I see?

Congratulations to me

2008-05-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

Infamous Sam called me to tell me of my nominations for the golden melody awards. They asked me for quotes and my current state of delirium. The awkward pause probably suggested that i wasn't entirely thrilled.

Truth is, I am out of touch with giving an answer pronto. The moving house, concert cum album preparations and ad hoc projects such as the Sichuan earthquake are really filling up my days. And I haven't even include my own rituals and habitual procrastination that take up a significant chunk of my time. Awards are great, but to celebrate at a time like this? Maybe it will take a while for the news to sink in, and at the actual ceremony, it might be a blast. Right now, I'm really not in the mood to shout from the top of my balcony.

I shall however, announce this blog in my fans' sites. It's been a while folks.

Howdy.

so i don't know how to draw

2008-03-24T08:06:00.000-07:00

Right now my favourite video is julia pott's "My first crush". It's the kind of video that brings a bittersweet smile to your face. And then you would play it over and over again just in case you missed out on any words that had crushed your juicy heart, only to release it again such that you feel the relief of being alive.

growing old

2008-01-05T22:49:00.000-08:00

looking back at my first post, my "fickleness" just seems more and more apparent. What LSE?What lilith fair? Maybe I never will live up to what I want to believe would happen. Maybe those goals were written so that I may have a peace of mind of my lack of enthusiasm for most things in life. And maybe, this morning as I had realised. I am just getting old. Being old I realised is not just about wrinkling and making plans to see Georgia Lee. Ageing is about being defeated. And that's why older people will never seem cooler than the younger ones. Unless of course they mask it in the disguise of, "I'm no longer as impulsive." It could work. Look at Queen Elizabeth, Lee Kuan Yew, they look like they don't know how to amuse themselves other than smiling at the idiocy of some rambling minister. I for one, have decided that, that is not the way for me. I will older and wiser because of the mistakes I have made, and not be older and non the wiser with the mistakes i did not dare take on.

FREEDOM

2007-10-01T23:21:00.001-07:00

The last place I would expect to find IT, is cruising home from a dinner with my bf and a friend named Frank.

It was a slow spreading realisation that I am not bound by anything. The happiness stemmed and springed from within, everything was ok.

Everything is ok.

I am King of the World

2007-06-26T02:09:00.000-07:00

as above.

MY GRAND FIRST POST

2007-06-15T00:40:00.000-07:00

On this very fateful day, i have decided to go ahead and create this blog.

Yes, i am one of those laggards who seem to have suddenly awoken by goadings of her alter ego to go forth and write, "Write about your opinions even if there are millions others who are smarter, better, hotter than you. Because even if you were just you, at least you did sell a million CDs!!" I'm sick of moping and writing in my diary only when something bad happens, where's all the celebration for the good things, sometimes the bad, the precious joy of being simply alive?

I'm a 8 year old singer, how does that sound? Singing pop songs at 29 with no real motive in life, doing what i can for my art, trying to make sense of the world so as to justify my job as someone influential.

Unfortunately (for me and most of the people who love me), i have the tendency to over think things, like what if i turn out to be a really superficial fraud who really only care what people think of my pauric sweeney real python skin bag ( I delude that it is fake so that I might still retain some semblance of an environmentalist), sprayed a lovely gold and silver?

Fortunately (for better or worse), I care enough to want to make a difference. So TADA, I get a new spanking blog. If it's grand enough to be typed out, it could come true.

First, my list of what I wish to accomplish.

1. Have great relationships.

2. Be fearless again.
3. Organise a 'lilith fair' to raise awareness for inequality, poverty, hunger. In this day and age, it is called being socially responsible. ~ One at a time sweetheart.

4. Speak up and feel fab.

5. Do a course in LSE, I need to be smarter.

6. Go camping.

7. Do a kick ass concert. Doesn't matter if they don't get it, you know what you're doing don't you?

8. Be absolutely beautiful.

It's going to be fab.